I know many people believe they live in dysfunctional families but let me just say that if awards were given for dysfunctionality in families I would win hands down! In my world my ex husband has a relationship with my parents and I don't. Let me be clear when I say that this may be just one example of why I don't speak to my mother. I would give the laundry list but I am not writing a book today. I was just outside helping Mitch pack his car up for college when he told me that he had lunch with his dad, stepmom and siblings last weekend at his grandparents house (and not his dads parents.) Don't get me wrong I am glad for Mitch that he sees all of them but at that moment it never became more clear to me that I truly made the right decision when I disowned my mother and reclaimed my values. Also let me state that as of late I have been struggling and reevaluating our current status after she reached out to me, wondering if maybe this time she actually had changed. How does it go " a leopard doesn't change its spots." Maybe one day I will actually put down all the sordid details of my life on paper. Also I will for the record state that there have been times of happiness with my mother but I also over looked a lot of the obvious to achieve that. Also there isn't hate in my veins, sometimes jealousy when others are sharing times together as a family but I AM AT PEACE! I no longer care about the lies that are spoken so she feels better about herself. I love living the truth. The truth that I will always love her and truly harbor no resentment anymore. I have forgiveness in my heart and soul. Only my forgiveness also includes forgiving myself for what will never be again.
Since we all live with some dysfuntionality I encourage you to comment on the blog page. Write it out and see others stories.
One very important lesson that I learned from my mom if it was intentional or not was to not be overly sensitive and be confident in your own skin. We all have flaws and you should own them proudly. The world would be a better place if people just accepted everyone for who they are, let your kids grow up and make mistakes and hope the common sense you instilled in them will help them learn from their mistakes instead of repeating them. I'm not one of those "everyone gets a trophy" kind of moms, instead I choose to teach my kids that it's ok to not be perfect every minute of every day. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose and there are days when nothing goes your way. Suck it up, get over it and keep pushing forward. The same goes with relationships. If it's a parent, child, spouse, lover or just a friend. It's great to be there for people, be tolerant of different personalities and try to be compassionate but sometimes you have to close doors and be at peace because there is nothing more you can do. I guess experiences we have in life (good or bad)make us who we are. Some people are dealt a pretty crappy hand from the start. Kudos to you for recognizing it, not letting it consume you and teaching your kids better. Breaking the cycle is definitely a wonderful thing!
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